Stranger Oppo: Chapter 1

Kinja'd!!! "Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
04/22/2018 at 19:30 • Filed to: Stranger Oppo, Meta

Kinja'd!!!9 Kinja'd!!! 26

I’ve been spelunking in Oppo’s Upside Down and it’s a dark/fascinating place. Today we’ll be taking a trip down a rabbit hole of incomplete thoughts, spitballing, flaming takes, and unpopular opinions that never made it to Oppo...

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Because pop culture references are easier and more relatable than ancient mythology to the average reader.

Before continuing on, I’d like to remind everyone that...

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Much like Pepperidge Farms, Kinja Remembers.

... or none of this would be possible.

The front page of this world is filled with silly posts scheduled for the very far future, much like reading the raw post feed. This section is also, surprisingly, shorter than the post feed. Something about the sorting.

Page 2 seems to be where you find all the near-future posts. Questions being posed to the readers on specific days, near future aviation history posts, etc. Later on this page is where the real interesting stuff starts and we begin to drop into Oppo’s collective subconscious.

At this point we’re still seeing things that will probably see the light of day as they’re dated today or yesterday, so I won’t spoil it for you. These are mostly parts of series posts, articles in progress from our most prolific writers, and otherwise likely to be posted mostly-complete thoughts. We’re starting to transition, but it’s slow. It looks familiar, but somehow foreign.

The first interesting nuggets are a little older, starting a little over a week ago, as many of these appear to be truly abandoned. A lot of names you’ve seen a lot of on Oppo start showing up here, particularly very prolific writers, but also some that are clearly timid about contributing to our hive mind beyond the comment section.

Highlights:

A writer declared that Chinese cars will be wildly successful in the US, whether from Chinese brands or simply built there; that the V6 engine will disappear within 12 years (but every other major variant will be popular at least through 2040); that manuals & DCTs will be dead before 2025; that diesel engines will have a renaissance in North America; and that I may not live long enough to experience a world without gasoline cars.

I’m going to leave this writer out from here on because these posts are never-ending. Lots of lists related to a line of thought that may or may not have become posts. Easily our most prolific writer of incomplete posts, and not just of the shitpost variety.

A writer wrote a very long post about debugging automotive wiring. It just trails off with a completed paragraph but no conclusion paragraph. I hope they actually post it, because it was very well written.

A writer put a lot of work into a retrospective on their ownership of a Porsche. I’m shocked this didn’t become a post.

A writer ranted that we need to stop idolizing car hoarders, but never elaborates.

A writer started a list of the world’s best supercars, arbitrarily ordered, but gave up a quarter of the way in.

A writer recounts a sordid tale about their experience with buying a car from CarMax. This seems to have started with a request here for a vehicle history prior to purchase and it clearly went downhill from there.

One of our writers wrote a great article that inspired the writing of this post! When rooting around in a strange land, they found a number of unexpected things and for some reason never posted about it. Shockingly, this is a completely finished post, unlike many of these.

A writer explains what’s wrong with Kinja. They also admit to having been tracked down by the FBI because they registered their car. I can see why they never posted these things.

A writer parodies Dr. Dre with hashtag “#BuyPartsEveryDay”.

A writer made a very compelling argument about guns, but clearly felt it was too contentious/political to post.

A writer looks to have been very close to completing the story of their first car, but something kept them from completing it. Their name here is the nickname of their car.

A writer almost gave us a tale of suffering, loss (serious), stress, then the cherry on top was his 3.5 year old daughter mercilessly crushing all of his hopes and dreams because she has decided that they have more cars than they need. I don’t know about these Gen-Z kids.

A writer started one of their articles on oddball cars of their area, but this one didn’t get fleshed out, just a reminder that they have seen these on the road in spite of those filthy bureaucrats.

A writer expounded on the virtues of their Andriod phone and spewed vitriol at those bastard case manufacturers for not making decent cases for every random smartphone, tablet, phablet, etc, on the market. I’d tend to agree, considering there are only something like 65 billion models of smartphone on the market today. There’s no reason any of these should not get all the shiniest cases.

A writer is sending messages in some incomprehensible alien language to his handlers. I’m not kidding.

A writer points out that not only are a lot of people stupid, but rich people are dangerously stupid.

A writer makes many excellent points yet probably feels that even Opponaughts might not understand their anguish.

A writer wrote about how their mom was car shopping and they were trying to help them find a good small- to mid-size crossover, excluding anything that someone with a pulse could possibly want. I suspect mom bought the pretty blue one or maybe they were too embarrassed to admit that their mom has no taste and hates Toyotas.

A writer is a time traveler with knowledge of how all life on Earth ends and is disgusted by how big golf carts need to be to tote these enormous modern golfers.

A writer reminds us of a car we were already aware of, then must have realized that we were already aware of it.

A writer is clearly dangerous. All I’ll say is: Never to cross them. Ever.

A writer continues to be funny, even when abandoning some of their work.

A writer tried to hour rule a shitpost, then clearly decided against it or someone else took advantage of the gap. Shockingly, didn’t post another picture of the type of car they always post.

A writer is not alone, but they clearly feel alone.

A writer has a deep and unhealthy obsession with tires.

A writer dropped a truth bomb about used Subaru pricing and obviously decided it wasn’t worth poking the Subaru bro’s nest.

If enough of you actually enjoy this, I might do it quarterly...


DISCUSSION (26)


Kinja'd!!! gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 19:47

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Kinja'd!!! Mercedes Streeter > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 19:53

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I usually try to move my drafts to my personal blog because I know some people are reading Oppo’s drafts. :p

Actually, I use Kinja as a replacement for Photobucket by using the Drafts feature. ;)


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Mercedes Streeter
04/22/2018 at 19:57

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I usually work on mine in my personal as well, but without this all these random thoughts would be spread out and lost.

Once you get past a certain age, a lot of it becomes more interesting for some reason. Why did they abandon this? Why didn’t this version go live but another copy did? So many unanswered questions.

I was going to make this a post about cleaning up long-abandoned drafts, but it became a rabbit hole and entertained me for quite a while.


Kinja'd!!! winterlegacy, here 'till the end > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 20:04

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Do this more. This is interesting.


Kinja'd!!! KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 20:10

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* Checks if name is on the list *

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Kinja'd!!! Mercedes Streeter > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 20:29

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Agreed!!!! I mainly do drafts on my own blog because I like to vent by writing. So I’ll write out some full post about some awful thing that’s happened to me, add a photo...then do nothing with it. Sometimes just writing it out makes me feel better.

You could totally do it! Few people know that having authorship means reading everyone’s Oppo drafts. It could be an entertaining series into Oppo’s “subconscious”. :)


Kinja'd!!! Steve in Manhattan > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 20:40

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Great graphic ...


Kinja'd!!! boxrocket > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 21:11

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Kinja'd!!! dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 21:17

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My mom is no longer searching for a crossover, as my brother totaled his car so they had to replace it. Maybe in a few years...


Kinja'd!!! Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 21:22

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You shouldn’t have access to these.


Kinja'd!!! Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 21:25

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I only want it done if it’s done hourly...


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford
04/22/2018 at 21:26

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Bummer! Is your brother okay?


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/22/2018 at 21:29

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Why?


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
04/22/2018 at 21:30

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It wouldn’t be even mildly entertaining since most would be destined for posting.


Kinja'd!!! Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 21:32

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You shouldn’t be able to look at other people’s drafts. Only mods used to have that power...


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/22/2018 at 21:33

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That does make sense, unless people are collaborating.


Kinja'd!!! If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
04/22/2018 at 22:39

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I can see them too.


Kinja'd!!! Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/22/2018 at 23:22

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I’m glad my plans to revive Mercury were tapped out for the Boba Vette post, I’m not sure those ideas are ready for the real world yet lol


Kinja'd!!! Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
04/22/2018 at 23:24

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Same

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Kinja'd!!! AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/23/2018 at 02:46

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This feels wrong somehow


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
04/23/2018 at 09:22

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I couldn’t do much with your only entry, it was just a screenshot of a joke that I think I’ve seen elsewhere.

You did write an opening paragraph back in 2016 wondering why Cadillac wasn’t jumping on the Mercedes X-class train. That could have been an interesting discussion, but probably would have come down to the epic failure of the Blackwood.


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
04/23/2018 at 09:45

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I purged names and future ones will be in this format.


Kinja'd!!! dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/23/2018 at 19:37

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He’s completely fine, he hit a curb at 25-30 mph, destroyed 2 tires and rims and 3 control arms, which was more than his 98 altima was worth so we sold it to a scrapyard.


Kinja'd!!! Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/23/2018 at 20:53

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https://oppositelock.kinja.com/cadillac-colorado-canyon-1789493119

That came to fruition


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford
04/23/2018 at 21:19

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That sucks, but at least it was just a car... People are a lot harder to replace/fix.


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
04/23/2018 at 21:20

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Interesting. I wonder why the draft stub remained.